Ideals of marriage - a lesson from 'Living with Siva'

The Ideals Of Marriage

Marriage is an institution, a business, a spiritual partnership, a furtherance of humanity and a contract--a three-level contract involving body, mind and emotion. Marriage is a necessary commitment not only for the continuation of the human race but also for the furtherance of each individual soul's spiritual unfoldment. The interaction on all levels between the couple, and later their children, molds the good, bad and confused karmas into new dimensions. Saivite marriages involve not only the bride and groom but also their parents, their priest, guru, astrologer, relatives on both sides and the entire community. The feeling of responsibility to the community is ever present. The community's feeling of responsibility to make each of its marriages work out well is also always present.

Why are Saivite marriages different from other kinds of marriages? It is because of the ever-abiding belief in the ever-present oneness of God Siva within each one. God Siva is within you, and you are within God Siva. God Siva is the Life of our lives. This and more the Saivite saints sang. To forget that Siva is within the wife, to forget that Siva is within the husband is to forget Saivism itself. This basic Saivite belief lays the psychological foundation for the husband to see the wife as a Goddess and the wife to see the husband as a God. All other behavior comes out of this belief. Belief creates attitudes, and attitudes create actions.

The knowing that each one has come into life to work out certain karmas they brought with them in this birth, and that karmas are generally worked out through other people, gives a challenge and a goal--to resolve these karmas and receive the reward of mukti, freedom from rebirth. Because of this belief, this understanding, the husband and wife blend their energies more constructively. Their attitudes are naturally more generous, forgiving and understanding, their actions and interactions more harmonious and mutually supportive. A woman gives her prana, spiritual energy, to her husband, making him strong. Children give their prana to their parents, because to them the parents are Siva-Shakti, the first guru. The wife, always attending to her husband's needs, sets the pattern for the children. By focusing her energies within her family, she builds up a great spiritual vibration in the home. In fulfilling his purusha dharma, the husband gives his prana, love and loyalty to his family, and he benefits the community through his service. He never, ever raises his voice in the home; nor does he show anger in any way. He is the model for the entire family. When his sons come of age, they join their pranas with his, and as a result, the family, the community and the country flourish.

Believing in reincarnation, the parents know that their relatives--and they themselves--will be born back into their family again and again to work out their unfinished karmas. A Saivite home is a karmic factory, a recycling of souls, a mill that grinds exceedingly fine the seed karmas of this and past lives.

Midnight Run - A run for service (6-August-2010)

This is my second run for the Midnight mission. It was a little different as summer has set in US. Accordingly, we mad a change in the food. clothing and free drink relief we were offering to the homeless in New York city.

This time I rode along with a passionate volunteer, a preaching minister of christian religion, a former retired teacher. Though years could touch her age, it couldn't seem to have dampened her spirit. It was enlightening to hear her experiences while driving and sharing my own perspectives in return until we reached NY city.

We went to the same places we went last time, but the expectations were different. New homeless and no familiar faces. We distributed the relief and finally by 12.35 we started. She rode me through the Times Square and I realised that the Times Square is never desolate in any hour - lively, kicking and buzzling with crowd always.

I reached home by 1.15 the next day and had a peaceful and satisfied sleep coming from the good work done hours before :-)

Writing.. for hope..for yourself and a fellowman

Volunteering. I can't fathom how much variety of experience this hobby of mine is going to give me this lifetime. An experience of a kind and first-ever for me - I wrote letters. You may ask me - are you kidding? Writing a letter. We all write letters (more of emails now) every day. Sheets and sheets of paper, pages and pages of email.. So what's special :-)

The special thing here is to write to someone, somewhere whom you may never meet or never see face-to-face. Now that's interesting isn't it.. And what if say that they are for prisoners!

Today I was taken to the Scarborough Church by my friend Barbara ( a friend in FPC, Ossining) to write letters to people who are serving their sentences in the prisons of USA. These people whose life took a turn for ever when they committed some crime/illegal act violating a serious law either in consciousness and cold-bloodedness or just in a fit of rage, passion, ignorance and clouded thinking - crimes that can chill you - killing innocent women, children, old men and other people, robbery, drug wars etc. - the big world of devilish crime.... and yet..you can't fail to realize that they are fellow human beings who are supported by the same mother earth, breathe the same oxygen from the air, drink the same water to sustain blood ..the difference only in where you are, and having freedom - Freedom of living your way ..we all take for granted more often.

Writing letters - to people who've not been visited by any family member, loved one or friend for years, denied permanent parole, 23 hrs a day locked in confinement behind steel walls, who may have all but forgotten what it means to see another face, face-to-face with love, speak a word, express a thought...these again we take for granted !!

Barbara and her senior lady friend explained to me the purpose. how your letter with a sincere intention to help can bring relief and peace to the person who receives it, the happiness the person may feel on thinking that someone out there in the world considered important to write for him, though they never have any relation whatsoever. We held hands in prayer asking God to help us with the Spirit to give us words of hope, love and understanding to be written in the letter to make that person feel better and realise that the world still awaits him/her and can feel loved.

I wrote to a person Jelio (name changed to protect identity), who was doing good, allowed permission to work and earn in another block of the prison...but after having found a weapon in the room by the jailors ..had been detained in 23 hr locked confinement until further assessment. The despair he poured out in his letter, not knowing who did it or how it came into his room and the sheer frustration of being wronged when things were going all fine ( the same feeling he once gave to another person when he participated in an armed robbery!!). I'm reminded of the eternal law..what you sow ..so you reap..what you give out..comes to you in return.. but yet i felt compassionate enough to cheer him up. He said he has turned to reading bible and more hours of prayers and with tears (he had never cried during his days of crime), tears of sorrow and repentence. I wrote giving him encouragement to start speaking to God and listen for answers in the quietness of heart, which I did when I lost my parents.

Another letter to Stevens(name changed to protect identity), seems to be well-read, a son of a pastor with a strong religious background, never appreciated religion then, entered into crime and now in prison. After reading bible and interacting through several letters with the ministry of church, he now feels why he doesn't have the 'fire for jesus' like devoted christians have and feeling frustrated being unable to sustain faith being in prison for the last 15 years, not allowed for parole. I gave him the example of how every river has to chart its own course to reach the ocean but its sure to reach. His path of faith may be different than a devout christian outside prison, but he too will reach the same God through Jesus, like every human being will do one day.

I wrote a lot, cited words of hope, examples flowing through me from the Spirit of God. I realised, obviously, I would never have written such inspiration all by myself and it moved my heart and thoughts.

I felt happy today that my handwriting was good, my english was good enough and all that I read, heard, listened and learnt from people and things around helped me create letters of hope for these persons god made me interact with through paper and pen. And now I eagerly await if they'll read them and respond to me, giving me a chance to reform myself in return and feel blessed!

Castaway Movie - touched my heart

In the last weekend (5-6 June 2010), I got the DVD of the movie Castaway from Ossining Library. This is the first movie CD I ever got from here. Though there is huge collection of movies, so far I'd only taken books, but this visit, something moved me to atleast select one for a try...and boy sure I made a nice choice :-)

Castaway didn't seemed like yet another Hollywood movie. To me it seemed a perfect combination of a nice script, fine actor, excellent film-making team- right from movie locale till the words of every dialogue, this movie is one of a kind. Never miss this movie if you've a chance to see.

I was really moved by all characters - including dearest Wilson and the island. Tom Hanks gives his undoubtedly best performance - a fine actor of our times.

The storyline is not only one of survival when lost in an unknown island cut-off from the world but also one of clearing our views/biases and bring out the real perspective of what we can learn from life - from each moment we live on taking it for granted and the value of relationships over mundane successes in life - through career or business.

I've now started looking back to browse through English movies rather than just reading books and I thank this movie for making this change.

Next time when someone talks to me about movies, sure, I'll recommend this one and I'll feel glad that I did it :-)

A Tryst with the Lady of Liberty

It was a bright sunny day, a fine Saturday(24-May-2010) heralding the start of a nice weekend. I took the Metro-North train (supposed to come at 8.38 in the morning, thought I missed it, hoping to catch the 9.04am one I caught this :-) ) starting off to Grand Central. I met an Indian friend who gave me good company during the journey. We talked about weather, vacations, family, work life which kept us engaged throughout the journey.
I reached GC. The station looked wonderful, bristling with crowd - young, aged, multi-culture, mix of tradition and modernity -  a true statement to what this country USA represents.

I took the subway to bowling green and reached the battery park. My bro arrived with my aunt/uncle and his friend and mom. We were all equally excited. After the regular baggage/passenger screening process we boarded the cruise. When the cruiser started, I felt happy seeing the waves rising and falling, building receding far away and felt as if I was in the arms of the mother river and Hudson is truly majestic.

We reached the liberty island and spent glorious time clicking away pictures. Later we went to Ellis Island and learnt its history - how it had served as the immigration post and the life and times of early immigrants to US. the museum hosted some good pictures that took us back to early 18th century.

We returned back to NY city and truly it was a memorable tryst indeed !!

Why Vegetarianism... Excerpts from the book 'Living with Siva'

I recently read on vegetarianism, its importance and why humans should adopt it. This is an excerpt from the book 'Living with Siva'.

Reasons for Vegetarianism

Vegetarianism has for thousands of years been a principle of health and environmental ethics throughout India. Though Muslim and Christian colonization radically undermined and eroded this ideal, it remains to this day a cardinal ethic of Hindu thought and practice. A subtle sense of guilt persists among Hindus who eat meat, and there exists an ongoing controversy on this issue. The Sanskrit for vegetarianism is shakahara, and one following a vegetarian diet is a shakahari. The term for meat-eating is mansahara, and the meat-eater is called mansahari. Ahara means "food" or "diet," shaka means "vegetable," and mansa means "meat" or "flesh."

Amazingly, I have heard people define vegetarian as a diet which excludes the meat of animals but does permit fish and eggs. But what really is vegetarianism? It is living only on foods produced by plants, with the addition of dairy products. Vegetarian foods include grains, fruits, vegetables, legumes, milk, yogurt, cheese and butter. The strictest vegetarians, known as vegans, exclude all dairy products. Natural, fresh foods, locally grown without insecticides or chemical fertilizers are preferred. A vegetarian diet does not include meat, fish, shellfish, fowl or eggs. For good health, even certain vegetarian foods are minimized: frozen and canned foods, highly processed foods, such as white rice, white sugar and white flour; and "junk" foods and beverages--those with abundant chemical additives, such as artificial sweeteners, colorings, flavorings and preservatives.

In the past fifty years millions of meat-eaters have made the decision to stop eating the flesh of other creatures. There are five major motivations for such a decision. 1) Many become vegetarian purely to uphold dharma, as the first duty to God and God's creation as defined by Vedic scripture. 2) Some abjure meat-eating because of the karmic consequences, knowing that by involving oneself, even indirectly, in the cycle of inflicting injury, pain and death by eating other creatures, one must in the future experience in equal measure the suffering caused. 3) Spiritual consciousness is another reason. Food is the source of the body's chemistry, and what we ingest affects our consciousness, emotions and experiential patterns. If one wants to live in higher consciousness, in peace and happiness and love for all creatures, then he cannot eat meat, fish, shellfish, fowl or eggs. By ingesting the grosser chemistries of animal foods, one introduces into the body and mind anger, jealousy, fear, anxiety, suspicion and a terrible fear of death, all of which are locked into the flesh of butchered creatures. 4) Medical studies prove that a vegetarian diet is easier to digest, provides a wider range of nutrients and imposes fewer burdens and impurities on the body. Vegetarians are less susceptible to all the major diseases that afflict contemporary humanity, and thus live longer, healthier, more productive lives. They have fewer physical complaints, less frequent visits to the doctor, fewer dental problems and smaller medical bills. Their immune system is stronger, their bodies purer and more refined, and their skin clearer, more supple and smooth. 5) Finally, there is the ecological reason. Planet Earth is suffering. In large measure, the escalating loss of species, destruction of ancient rainforests to create pasture lands for livestock, loss of topsoil and the consequent increase of water impurities and air pollution have all been traced to the single fact of meat in the human diet. No single decision that we can make as individuals or as a race can have such a dramatic effect on the improvement of our planetary ecology as the decision to not eat meat. Many conscious of the need to save the planet for future generations have made this decision for this reason and this reason alone. 

Midnight Run - A run for service (7-May-2010)

Now that I've been associated with the First Presbyterian Church, Ossining for a month, I am getting some real good opportunities to do 'seva' and keep my soul and mind in right shape.

Yesterday, I volunteered in a unique program (very special for me to remember in my current life), called 'Midnight Run'.. now wait its not an overnight marathon of sorts which you may imagine ;-). It is just called so, perhaps, coz you race against/give up the comfortable sleep of midnight, to serve the homeless and needy who may actually have many sleepless/troubled nights due to their poor economic condition!

In this event coordinated by the Midnight Run.org (http://www.midnightrun.org/) here in Westchester, NY, our church FPC participated as a donor along with a few other churches like the Briarcliff one. We collect food materials, clothing, tolietries, medicines etc. to distribute among the homeless and needy right in the heart of the affluent New York city!

I was picked up by my nice friend, Bob Supino and his wife, a wonderful service-minded couple in the church with caring hearts. They've been coordinating this for years under the patronship of our church pastor, Lynda.
We arrived in the church by around 7.45pm. We could see a lot of items coming from different churches, family neighborhood arriving at the church. Then the activities begun.

(1) Make food packs - Take bread, cheese, ham, veg. leaves and make sandwiches (like in assembly line..here there were some school/college going young boys/girls enthusiastically working their gourmet/packing skills ;-)), put some fruits, cookies, milk, etc. and seal them
(2) Organizing clothes - arrange by men, women and children clothing and label the sizes - shirts, pants, jeans, inner wear, blankets, jerkins, sweatshirts etc.
(3) Categorize toileteries - soaps, shampoo, oral care, medicines etc.
(4) Packing all into cartons.
(5) Preparing hot coffee/ veg. soup cartons.

After all work, it was time to start (about 9.15 pm). We decided to go as a team of 10..in 4 cars..with the relief materials. Lynda introduced all of us to each other, Bob read out the ground rules and safety instructions and finally Lynda gathered us in a small group prayer :-) (very touching)

Then we started off to New York city. I joined Rich (a financial investment consultant with wide industry experience of 20+ years). We discussed a lot during the 1-hour long journey - topics from church, religion, economic meltdown, India and emerging markets economies (and finally got close enough to discuss families :-) )

We reached Manhattan and per plan had four main places to cover - parks, cross-road junctions, church areas and under construction scaffolding where we can locate the homeless/needy. The moment our cars arrived and opened shop we could see streams of people pouring in. Bob told me that as it happened every year, people knew we were coming and also the areas we cover. (this means the same people can follow us and collect relief at all places, so beware ;-)..)

I was in the car, where we distributed sandwich packs, coffee, soup, shoes and blankets. I felt very happy when I gave things to them and was touched when they blessed me and my family !! :-) (i feel that the most precious thing we can ever get in this world is the heartfelt-thanks and blessings from people whom you may never know or see for the first time !!. we can never buy these things with money nor we can get the same love, peace and satisfaction through other means. This is what makes seva, a very special activity. I dedicate all these to Lord Krishna, who's been so kind to use me as an instrument to help the needy He wanted to..Hare Krishna!!)

In the final spot, I was moved to tears, to see people in huts, made of cardboard, paper cartons, stapled/taped together and sleeping under them on a thin rug spread on the pavement!! [However, I feel that the needy and poor in needy don't even have these !! :-( ]. I could see how much blessed we are indeed to have a family/home to return to and take shelter giving us enough hope for the next day to live.

I spoke to a variety of them - some complained about life, harsh govt, heartless people ; some full of thanks for us to come and see them and talk a few nice words to them as they've never been spoken to for months; some really moved to tears seeing us and asking for more support/some job we can find for them; some making fun of us and rather angry with us when we said we can't give more to the same person as we need to give others-- all kinds. I wondered the play of God, making people react differently for the same situation!!.

Life is the same. We all get born into this material world and die once. Same problems, same Maslow's needs, and same human deficiencies - ego, greed, fear, jealousy, at different ages.. but the same material world!!. I wonder how many human beings have undergone the same thing in this universe - but we still feel we are uniquely made by god by our own material standards!!

Are we really unique? Aren't our life cycle the same? I think I'm contributing uniquely, but am i not doing the same things others have done before albeit in different settings? Where am I in this universe? Am i a spiritual being having a human experience or am I a human being having a spiritual experience? Questions, questions and questions...doubts, doubts and doubts... Gosh!!

But summum bonum, this has enlivened my spirit. To see things in my life again in a larger perspective..perhaps those office problems - promotion, pay etc.. wouldn't bother me more than they really should do, perhaps I've to be more responsible to my family and towards myself, not take things for granted and realising the prime duty of seva wherever i am.

This experience is changing me slowly - for the better ..and I hope to participate in the next run !!